Professor Hunter Cole checking in. Today, I'm looking incredibly astute with my Sherlock Holmes hat, hand-carved Meerschaum pipe, and Gaslight London skin pallor. And I know what you're thinking, "Why, Hunter, you are so posh." And yes, I know, thanks. But in addition to highlighting my intellectual acrobatics (which are Tonya Harding-esque in some ways), it also keeps my true identity safe from the various organizations that have me on their watch list after my previous post.

From my super secret, mobile bunker, I'm transmitting this blog post via tachyon particles so that they will arrive by early morning Thursday, March 6th, 2008. Here, it's almost noon. And 2027. I can't provide more detail without possibly revealing my true location in the Keys. Ahh, dammit. Well, as much as I like to ramble, it's time to get on with the Second Law. Shall we?

Or maybe not. This is all related, as you will see by the end of All Access Hunter Cole Week 2008 LIVE At RWU BLOG! To truly reach your muse, you have to ramble. A lot. She's a stubborn bitch, a seductive lover, and a succulent linguist (thought I was gonna say cunning, didn't ya?). She can make you laugh, cry, or pull your hair in frustration.

All things you know already, dear writers. But the inspiration comes from involvement. The easiest way to get in touch with your muse, and the second law, is to go way overboard (something that third-person Hunter is good at).

I'll let you know a secret. I'm a bad writer. I write badly. See! I often have poor sentence structure, outrageous grammatical mistakes, and use superfluous words (pun intended, natch). But I know how to bed a muse. And in my opinion, that's what separates the writer from the person who writes. Something I like to call: The Story.

Let me illustrate by using another method to catch your muse, lyrics (with much respect to drunk bastard, Kenny Rogers):

You gotta know when to kill 'em
Know when to build 'em
Know when to verbalize
And know when to mime

Never knock those boots
When things are going easy
Ya gotta have some conflict
Almost all the time

I know what you're thinking: Will Hunter ever get to the frickin' point? But those of you that are paying attention will realize this entire post sums up the point. You may have to catch it en passant if I jump too far ahead. Sometimes I don't know what I'm doing until after I've already done it, which is why it works especially well for me to post these articles from the future.

Okay, enough already. Here's the point of the Second Law:
When you think you've gone too far, you're only beginning to take advantage of your Muse: Look at the story you're writing. Right now. I'll wait. Okay, so how is it? Good? mmm.... How can it be better? You should ask yourself this all the time. Especially any time you introduce a concept or element. Now, take it a step further. Even if you're not going to go through with it, your muse will love you for it.

Does she have a dark past? Is it dangerous? Can you make it more dangerous? Was she poisoned? Did she poison? Did she kill? For the sake of good or evil? Can her lover be her enemy? Can he be her salvation? Is he really who she thinks he is? Is there someone waiting around the corner when they leave the movie? Will someone get stabbed, mugged, raped, or murdered? Or will one of them be the murderer?

When I was kickin' it with Big Willie S (Shakespeare, to those of you not in our little clique), we used to try to out-tragedy, or out-comedy each other. Granted, my vernacular at the time kept me from gaining the same kind of fame, but it sparks the muse. It will make your story better. Be outrageous. Be over the top. And make something that pops.

The last thing I'll mention, as this rambling post turns into something you read to your children to help them sleep (or maybe enter a catatonic coma or regression therapy). Is something that true Hunter fans will recognize as being posted 836 days, 22 hours, and 59 minutes ago - from this posting - on my old Bravejournal. Called: Oh, How The Time Flies When You're On Mescaline. (Note to self: Blog Titles need some work).

This is still part of the Second Law of the muse, because she has a tendency to be an evil succubus. Find or make a story, or even an off-shoot of the story you have now - you don't have to use it - at least not as often as I use dashes in my posts - and KILL off one of your main characters.

Nothing satisfies the muse more than human sacrifice. And nothing can make a better impact in your stories. Build a connection to your reader, show them you care about them, introduce them to your innocent, beautiful creature and then tear their fuckin' heart out. That's how the pros do it. And now you can too!

So there you have it, in this day and age of reality TV, subtle overtones of independent films, and politically-correct television for little children, the best way to stand out of the crowd and make a good story a great, memorable story, is to make something big happen, make it surprising, and then it will automatically be memorable.

Of course, avoiding excessive run-on sentences can help too.

-Hunter